Monday, November 16, 2015

Am I Who I Am

Am I really who I am? Your thoughts, your words, your actions make up your life that you are living.  As Larry Winget states in his book "Grow a Pair". If you play the victim then you are a victim. We love to play the role of a victim because it is never your fault, never your responsibility, there is always someone else to blame for our situation. Does this sound familiar? We like to blame our parents, boss, and yes even family for the way we are and not take responsibility for our own lives. This is why rehabs and self development books are one of the fastest growing businesses in America.

According to a post on facebook that I read, this person forgives all of those who used them, abandoned them and forced them to retreat into alcoholism and drug abuse. Really? Grow a pair and stop whining. The only common denominator is 'you'. Stop being mad at someone, stop holding a grudge because in reality you are possibly the cause of the anger. When one attends these rehabs they want to blame anyone but you. Of course, you are the client and you are the one paying their outrageous fees. Why be honest with you and say that you are the problem. That would be the only rational conclusion but they want to take you back to your childhood and blame your parents, then it's your teacher's fault, your friends fault, let's go onto your boss, co-workers and mates.  I am who I am because of you? What a victim. You let everyone influence you and made you a mad man? 

Am I who I am because of the world? You must look into your own life and wonder why life isn't going your way. Why am I not married? Well, one can't date unavailable people, emotional or married status, and wonder why? Why am I not making more money, is it because I didn't show up on time, or do my work? I know because I have these same issues. Was I really in the right when I let my brother take my mother away? No! I didn't fight for her plus I felt guilty that I was spending more then I was making.Why am I always  broke, well, I could get a job that pays more, stop spending money on things that I want but don't need, or buy the things that I don't need and hide them in the back of the closet and bring it out later! Sound familiar? Where are all of my friends? Am I being a good friend? Get Larry's position? It is just common sense. They are bullying me at work? Is it my attitude, work ethics or do I critisize my co-workers too much. Maybe I am not always pleasant. (and trust me, I am not as nice as I used to be). Why am I always have the feeling of abandonment. Are you sure that you were abandonment or not the center of everyone's world like you think you should be. Stop, Look and Listen to You! You know why you are the way you are, deep down you do. Why didn't I finish college, my excuse is that my father didn't make me. Really, it was because I wanted to party and not apply myself. My father was rich, I won't have to work a  day in my life, wrong!!!!! My life turned out exactly the way I made it. It wasn't anyone's fault but mine. Own it.

Except for money I love my life, I would like to have more of a life but I am close to my children and their children. I just need to get out more! And I am! First, off to my cousin's party the night before Thanksgiving!!! I will be taking my strange sense of humor with me, I think that I will curtail it a bit!

These are philosophies from Larry Winget - the king of self improvement.

Until we meet again,

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Haunted Island - Gray Man

The Gray Man has to be South Carolina’s most famous ghost.  The spirit of John C. Calhoun himself could not top the Gray Man’s long enduring history and tragic legend.  Pawleys Island sits along the coast and is home to small cottage homes, inns, and one very famous spirit.  The story is always the same - the Gray Man warns residents to flee the island from an impending hurricane.

 My favorite version of this legend tells a tragic love story.  A young man returning from a long absence was eager to see his fiancee.  He rode on horseback from Georgetown, SC to Pawleys Island.  The young man was so eager to see his beloved young girl that he decided not to follow the road, but take a short-cut across the marsh.  In this untraveled marsh the young man’s horse fell in quicksand, both horse and rider were killed.  The young girl was devastated and began to forlornly walk the beach, mourning her lover.  One windy summer day, she saw a man dressed all in gray approach her and recognized him as her dead fiance.  He told her to get off the island immediately because there was danger.  Without another word, he vanished.  The young woman told her parents what she had seen and they fled to the mainland.  That night the hurricane came ashore destroying nearly every home on the island.  The home of the young woman was left somehow untouched by the storm as though it had been protected by an unseen force.

The first recorded sighting of the Gray Man is from the hurricane of 1822 that hit Charleston and caused over 300 deaths on the outlying islands. 

In 1893 the Gray Man appeared to the Lachicotte family.  He was silent, but his meaning was clear.  The family fled the island and survived the storm.  This hurricane, called the Sea Islands Hurricane, killed an estimated 1,500 people and Lachicotte’s surely would have been part of that tragic number.
October 1954 found Bill Collins and his new bride honeymooning on the island.  Around 5 AM Bill heard a knock at their door.  Too early to be anything unimportant, Bill answered the door.  Before him stood a man in rumpled gray clothing and a gray hat which hid his features.  He said that the Red Cross had sent him to tell them to leave because a big storm was coming.  Bill could smell salty brine on the man’s clothing and heard the urgency in his voice.  Suddenly the man in gray disappeared leaving Bill stunned and shaken.  Bill and his new wife left the island and Hurricane Hazel struck soon after as a Category 4 storm.  Hazel eventually killed 95 people and destroyed 15,000 homes.
September 19, 1989 residents of Pawleys Island, Clara and Jack Moore were walking along the beach.  They saw a man dressed all in gray suddenly appear among the dunes.  He approached them, then vanished.  This was warning enough for Clara.  She and Jack packed bags and fled inland.  Two days later Hurricane Hugo struck the coast as a Category 4 storm killing 76 people along its path and causing $10 Billion in damage.

Often when the Gray Man is seen the homes of his audience will be left completely untouched by the storm while the neighboring homes are decimated.  Is the Gray Man somehow protecting these homes?  If his warnings were not heeded, would the homes and residents truly be destroyed?  For people who have seen the Gray Man it is without question - he came to warn them and if they hadn’t listened their lives would’ve been taken by the storm.


Until we meet again,

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Real Estate Advice

Don't press that Button when looking for Real Estate.

If you are online researching homes on any site, you will be asked to contact the listing agent. Don't do it. Find an agent that you trust, is knowledgeable about the type of home, the area, and financing.

Why, you ask. The Listing Agent has a fiduciary responsible to the seller. They will not be representing you at all.

What difference does that make to you. Let's go step by step.

First you will preview the property. Your reactions will be noted and reported back to the seller. If it is favorable you will loose a bargaining chip. Your argument to me could be that you love the house and don't want to loose the house. You would pay their price.

Question: Would you pay the asking price? Would you pay more than the market price? If the answer is yes, my number is? You are a Realtor's dream. Yes, to the asking price. The listing agent if they did their job well, it should be priced right.

How about more than market price? Well, historically home prices should increase with time. In recent years, we have seen wide swings in the housing market. Homeowners are finding themselves upside down in their home. This isn't a situation that you want to find yourself in, this is the largest purchase that you will ever make. It is your largest investment. Do you really want to find yourself unable to sell.

Okay, you found the house. You are in love with the house. You think about it day and night. Let's put an offer into the seller. The agent represents the seller, they may not realize it but they could influence your offer favoring the seller.

You want someone who will get you the best deal and is it really the listing agent?

Now, it is time to obtain financing. At best this will be labor intensive. Your agent and the loan broker will be in constant contact ( and so will you). Your agent needs to know what they need to do to get this offer to the underwriter. They will know everything about you and your credit needs. If this information goes to the listing agent, it will go right back to the seller. It is their fiduciary responsible to inform all details to seller. You need someone who will help you, not that the seller agent wouldn't want to help you but it is the law. You may have perfect credit (not many of us do with this economy) and don't predict any problems but there are always some sort of issues to be resolved. Involved in this process is the issue of the Appraisal. In my career I have had only one property not appraise for the contract price. It was in the beginning of the real estate scandal, not that I was a part of it, the condo's price was above recent selling prices but it had features that the other condo's didn't and I had to fight and convince the appraiser that these features warrant the contract price and would he reconsider.

Okay, you now, have an accepted offer and financing. It is time to close and the title agent doesn't have all of the papers and contracts. Your agent needs to get on the phone and encourage (notice I said encourage and not press, coerce or demand) the parties to get off their behinds and do their jobs. It could be the responsibility of the financing, the seller, or the buyer to get the necessary papers into the title agency to close.

The property is now yours but the seller can't move or won't move. Adverse possession, don't think that this can't happen and if it does the law will be on your side. This week, a man came home to his empty house only to find that there was a squatter in his home and he had sold most of his appliances and fixtures. The law isn't clear to adverse possession and who wants to go through the courts to get the squatter out. When I do a deal and it is time to close, I insist that the seller be completely out of the property and the buyers do a walk thru before signing any papers. If I was representing the seller, I might not do that, especially if I know that they aren't completely out. The buying agent would press the issue and not let you close until the buyers were completely happy with the condition of the house. The walk thru is important, you want to make sure that the seller is out and left the house in the condition that you viewed the home.

I have done dual agency where you represent the seller and the buyer, but lately do the scandal, dual agency is the thing of the past. Now, you represent on or the either. You really want someone to represent you because you don't purchase homes everyday and it is the largest investment you will ever make.

I don't want you want to think that these actions are immoral. They aren't, they are just working according to the contract. The agent is working for who they represent, let's make sure that you are who they represent.

Like the old adage goes, If it is meant to be, let it be me.

Until we meet again,

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